I never was the type to be comfortable around infants. I was afraid of hurting them or not being able to soothe them when upset. I remember working in the church nursery, holding a crying baby. I tried whispering to her, rocking her...all to no avail. The baby's mother was summoned and once she graced the door of the nursery, her child immediately was at ease. It beat all I'd ever seen! I couldn't understand that kind of power until I had a little one of my own.
Mothers seem to have a kind of "magic" when it comes to consoling their children. I don't really like to use the word "magic" because it is really a gift given to women by their Creator...but as a young woman, the power of a mother was always magical to me. When Lilly was born, I was amazed that she just seemed to know who her Mom was. I kind of chalked it up to my being a warm body but there have been times when no other warm body would do except for my own. She was only a view days old when she would turn her head in the direction of my voice. My fear of infants vanished the minute Lilly arrived...I just knew what to do. As Lilly and I became better acquainted, I was able to decipher her cries to better serve her. As her Mom, that's what I do :)
There are times when I wish this Mommy magic could erase the pain out of Lilly's life...her pain is now my own and I think I feel it ten times worse than she does. I couldn't bear watching her suffer at the ER when the nurses stuck her time after time. As her tear filled eyes gazed into mine, I knew she was saying "Mommy, take this away" and it hurt me knowing that I couldn't. All I could do was cry with her and hold her close when it was all over. I get teary just thinking about it...
If you have read this far, you are probably wondering what sparked this edition of "Adventures in Motherhood." Lilly had a restless night and the only way she would sleep soundly was to be next to me. If I moved, she moved. If I slept, she slept. Mommy magic. Those moments don't come often but I cherish them when they do. I imagine her in the years to come, running to my bed when she can't sleep or is afraid. I'll cherish those moments too because I know they won't last. Instead of dreading Lilly growing up, I take each moment as it comes and savor it. I am so blessed to call her mine!
